Be Curious
Do you use Google or ChatGPT to get answers or to understand things? In my experience significantly more people want answers than are curious. Proof of this is we live in an instant gratification society. Too many of us aren’t curious and don’t want to think things through; we just want answers.
If you’ve ever been a manager you know what I’m talking about. In my first managerial job, I quickly learned that my team was looking to me for answers to their problems. I put a stop to that. I told my people not to come to me with a problem without thinking it through and coming with three possible solutions and a recommendation as to which one you’d suggest and why. I did this for a few reasons, 1) they were closer to the problem that I was, 2) I was training them in thinking things through for themselves, 3) they developed skills in presenting their thoughts and ideas and 4) I was training them in becoming more independent. Once they came to me, I would probe with questions about the situation and their options and through that process we would align on the best path forward.
Being curious isn’t about getting answers, it's about building on one's knowledge base which indirectly helps us become more effective in every aspect of our lives. Our education system is built upon building a foundation of knowledge to help us in our lives.
My oldest son Joel was a philosophy major in college. As we started his college search I asked him if he had any idea about what major he might like to pursue. He said, philosophy. Not knowing too much about the value of a liberal arts degree at the time, I responded, "How about something like marketing, accounting or finance?" I knew he wasn’t a STEM kid. He responded with the contempt many 17 yr old sons have for their father. "Dad," he said, "those degrees teach you what to think. A liberal arts degree teaches you how to think."
There it was, me getting schooled by my 17-yr-old.
Then I started to reflect on my college education and career. I was a Finance major. However, my two favorite classes were sociology and quantitative analysis. And as I look back on my career, there are but a few examples where I can directly point to applying what I learned from my Finance education. However, sociology and quantitative analysis certainly align with the management consulting and executive coaching work I’ve been doing for the last 20 years.
As I watched Joel go through his college and post-college years I have become fully enrolled in the value of a liberal arts degree. But a degree on its own isn't enough. I heard a philosophy professor say that a Philosophy degree doesn’t teach you how to think, but rather that you have a choice about what you want to think about. From there, what’s needed is curiosity.
Curiosity is the strong desire to learn or know something. It’s what drives exploration, discovery, and innovation. It can be triggered by something unfamiliar, a gap in knowledge, or simply the joy of learning. There are different types of curiosity:
Epistemic Curiosity – The thirst for knowledge, like wanting to understand science or history.
Perceptual Curiosity – Interest sparked by something surprising or novel, like an unusual sound or a strange pattern.
Diversive Curiosity – The urge to seek new experiences or distractions, like scrolling through social media.
Empathic Curiosity – The desire to understand people’s thoughts and emotions.
Curiosity is a powerful motivator—it’s why we ask questions, solve problems, and push boundaries.
My first 20 years in the workplace I was in sales and management positions. It was during this time, being trained in many sales training programs, that I learned the importance of being curious. What I learned was that to be an effective salesperson I needed to become curious and ask a lot of questions. When prospects or clients shared something, I learned not to accept on face value what they shared nor assume I knew what they meant or were talking about. I learned the importance of probing with more questions.
I’m reminded of a conversation I had with a client years ago when I was at a software company, where I learned through questions that his capital budget came from the federal government and his operating budget came from their operating income and state budget. So, being curious I asked, "Would it be valuable to you if I could move monies you owe us from your operating budget to your capital budget?"
"Absolutely!" he responded. Then I asked, "If I can create a six year agreement that moves about 80 percent of your operating budget into your capital budget, would that benefit you?" "Yes," again he responded. Those questions led me to convert a client that was on an annual renewable agreement with us to a six year agreement that benefited both him and our company. Of course we got the deal done. All because of questions driven by curiosity.
Being curious and asking probing questions has served me well throughout my career, first in sales, then in consulting and coaching. I know I’m doing well when one of my clients angrily asks (as a CEO client recently did), "Why didn't I think of that?" The answer, because they didn’t ask themselves the right question.
What I’ve become really good at is asking probing questions from a place of curiosity with an intention of revealing something that the other person may not be looking at. I don’t assume I know what someone means and I exhibit a level of humility, not having to prove I’m smart and understand them.
Being curious is mostly about having the right mindset and habits. It’s not just something you’re born with—as I've seen in myself, it’s something you can develop. Here are some key things that help build curiosity:
Open-Mindedness: Being willing to consider new ideas, perspectives, and experiences without immediately judging them.
Asking Questions: Instead of taking things at face value, ask why, how, and what if? The more you question, the more you discover.
Embracing Uncertainty: Curiosity thrives when you’re comfortable not having all the answers. Being okay with uncertainty pushes you to explore.
Seeking Out New Experiences: Trying new things—whether it’s reading different books, traveling, or learning new skills—keeps your brain engaged and makes you want to learn more.
Active Listening: Paying close attention to what others say (and what they don’t say) can spark new thoughts and questions. I can’t emphasize enough the importance of listening for what people don’t say. Sounds crazy, but if you are thinking things through, you will likely wonder why they didn't say X, Y or Z?
Challenging Assumptions: Don’t just accept things as they are. Question common beliefs, even your own, and see if they hold up.
Being Playful with Ideas: Curiosity is often about exploring without pressure. Let yourself wonder, imagine, and experiment without worrying about being “right.”
We are lucky we live in a time with Google and now ChatGPT. These and other tools enable us to ask questions and get answers which is just the first step in addressing our curiosity and expanding our knowledge. Then, we should pressure test what’s presented to us by asking questions of ourselves and others to validate or invalidate what we are exposed to. It’s not healthy to accept what others present as true without validating it for ourselves. Unfortunately, people accepting what they hear and not pressure testing it is how cults get created and thrive.
I believe the more curious you become and the more questions you ask, the smarter you become and the more open you become to a range of possibilities.