What I Learned Being a Father
On this Father’s Day, I’d like to express my gratitude to my sons, Joel and Simon.
When Joel was one, we were leaving a restaurant, and he fell down. My friend went to pick him up, and I told her to leave him alone. She responded by saying, “It’s my job to protect my children.” I replied with, “It’s my job to raise a productive member of society, and he’s ok. He needs to learn to get back up on his own when he falls down.”
In that moment, I realized the context I have for being a father creates my actions.
Then, when Joel was 10, he declared that he wanted to be the President of the United States. I realized my context of raising a productive member of society was pretty small if my son wanted to be President of the United States. So, I changed my context too; my job is to raise world leaders, not in the political sense but rather leaders in their world. This new context called me to be a better father in order for me to support my sons in becoming who they wanted to become.
When Simon was in kindergarten he wanted to play basketball, and he wanted me to be his coach. So, of course, I did. Unlike Joel, Simon loved me being his coach. He was a sponge and took in all my coaching. This resulted in me being his head coach for 15 of the 18 basketball teams he played on.
Because of Simon, I learned that who I am is “coach,” and it shows up in every part of my life. Professionally, for the last 6+ years, I’ve been a consultant and coach to Executives. As I embark on the next phase of my professional life, I do so with the power of the lessons I learned from my sons. That the context I create for myself determines who I’m being and the actions I take. And, who I am for other’s is “coach.” That’s how others see me and it’s what they expect from me.
To Joel and Simon, I say thank you. You have made me a better father, man and professional. I’m a better person because of you.
Happy Father’s Day!