Legacy

Twenty-seven years ago, my dad and I were in Montreal for my grandmother’s funeral. At the same time, my grandfather was recovering in the hospital from a heart attack. Just before we left to return home, we visited with my grandfather. During that conversation, my father shared that he was going to be retiring soon. With no hesitation, my grandfather said life is about work, not retirement. You can stop working in the job you are doing, but you must find something else to do.

While my father had a few part-time jobs in the early years after his retirement, he never found his what’s next and as a result, I believe, his lack of what’s next contributed to his long slow decline.

When we are in our 20’s, 30’s or 40’s we do not think much about our legacy. As we move into our 50’s, 60’s and 70’s legacy becomes very relevant.

Legacy in this context is defined as the long-lasting impact of particular events, actions, etc. that took place in the past, or of a person’s life.

I believe the best legacy we can leave is to be the best versions of ourselves. To do so we need to identify what represents our best most authentic self.  

I have a friend who majored in philosophy, and he believes that life is god’s play, and our job is to determine our role in the play and then to act it out.

If you have attended a leadership course, worked with a coach or a psychologist, or participated in a management retreat about finding your purpose, you may have been asked to create your own eulogy. The purpose of this exercise is to think about what you want to be remembered for, and/or to help you define your purpose.

While writing a eulogy can be a great exercise to find your purpose, it comes from our thinking, i.e. our left brain.

Medical experts and scientists determined long ago that there are two hemispheres of the brain, the right and left. The left brain is focused on thinking in words, sequencing, linear thinking, mathematics, facts, and logic; while the right brain is focused on feelings, visualization, imagination, intuition, rhythm, holistic thinking, nonverbal cues, daydreaming and the arts.

Left-brained teaching dominates our education system, so it makes sense that we would devise a left-brain activity like writing our own eulogy to help us to define our purpose. Like you, I have spent much of my life in the thinking rather than the intuition.

What if there was another way? While I do not have “the answer,” I have some thoughts for you to consider.

As an alternative to seeking our purpose, what if we are to seek to define our calling, i.e. what are you called to do and be in the world. Identifying your calling is not about left-brained thinking but rather right-brained intuition. It occurs in listening not thinking. Listening to what you might ask? Listening for what your heart and soul is yearning for.

Our access is to go into the quiet and listen. It will not happen in five or ten minutes but over time. You spent years mastering thinking, listening will also take time and effort spread out over time; and like learning to think, may require the assistance of a coach or guide to help you. Listen to what your heart and soul are trying to tell you.  

I know for me, my awareness about me being a coach did not come until I was well into my 40’s while coaching my son Simon in basketball. Truth be told there were signs in my 20’s but I was not listening, and it took me until my mid-fifties to embrace it.     

Tony Robins says that success leaves clues and we should find out what other people do to be successful and model it. While I agree with this principle, what if the idea that success leaves clues also applies to what you and I have successfully done in the past that has filled up our hearts?   

Do you know why salmon swim upstream? It is the skill they were born with, nature’s way for them to migrate and to ensure their young survive long enough to hatch and grow.

Like salmon, we were all born with foundational skills, behavioral attributes, and motivators that each of us have exhibited and developed during our lifetimes.

Salmon do what they were born to do. What if you and I did the same thing with a slight twist, overlaying our heart's desire with our inborn skills, behaviors, and motivators? 

The best way to ensure our legacy is to be the best versions of ourselves. Listen to your heart’s desire and act it out as best you can. It is your role in god’s play.   

The best way to do it is not to use left-brained thinking and try to think your way through it, but rather to pay attention to your heart and soul. What is it longing to do, be? What are the successes you have had in your life? They are clues for you to follow.  

If we listen to our right-brain intuition, and pursue that, and be the best version of ourselves, our legacy’s assured. So like a salmon, do what you were born to do. 

The best way to leave a legacy is to live life as the best version of your authentic self.